Yeah, I'd say that fits pretty well.
I find it sort of ironic that stress and depression seem to be a hot topic in the updates I've been looking through this morning (haven't had time to check the blogs in a bit), with the fact that I've been looking a lot at just how much I let things get to me, and how I often react to the situations around me. You wouldn't see it from outside closed doors, or without coming up on what is meant to be a suddenly-needed private moment, but I'm a very easily cracked person. I typically handle these things on my own, trying to hide them even from my fiance', because I know it upsets him to see me upset, but I lose my cool more often than not.
It's been years since I first began to wonder if I might suffer from depression, anxiety disorder, or some other form of stress-inducing something-or-other. I've never really looked into it, because I figured I was just being silly, that I'm just a high stress kind of person or something. Here lately, though, I've begun to really wonder again...
Maybe it's just because we have a lot of stress points lately, but it's really started to make me think about looking into the whole thing. We just moved into an apartment, so money has been tight this first month with getting things to stock the place, buying more groceries than we used to need to buy, pulling an extra chunk out of each paycheck for the new bills, along with what we pull out for the preexisting bills, etc. On top of that, I've got this pain in my arse at work who seems to think he is just about the greatest thing since sliced bread. He has not only lied about me, lied to me, stabbed me in the back, and tried to do the same to others, but is also now the cause of my being pulled out of the cafe' (a job I absolutely loved) and being put on the book floor (a job I absolutely hate... mostly due to the disorder everyone else leaves it in). Let's top his list off with the fact that he has also attempted to spread rumors about my fiance' around the workplace. At this point, one more thing out of him is earning him a report to Corporate about Harrassment. Now, put in with that the fact that I just got off my pill due to insurance running out, no time to get new insurance, and no extra money to do so either... so my hormones are out of whack, and my oh-so-wonderful time 'o the month keeps coming later and later. Last month, it was two days, which is enough to freak me out for those two days since I've always (even before pills) been a same-day-every-month person. This month, it was almost a week, and I was losing my mind. This may not sound like a huge deal to other women who are used to theirs coming at different days and that sort of thing, but, for me, it's completely unheard of... and sends me over the deep end every time.
I've always freaked over the little things. Always. I've always been easily depressed. Always. What I've now begun asking myself is whether I shouldn't see a doctor, whether I shouldn't make sure that this is (or isn't) just me being me. Sure, there's more points for the stress to come from now, but that doesn't really explain why I've always been this way. And, of course, with more stress points, it's become worse. I find myself randomly crying for unknown reasons at least once a month now... it used to be once every few. I find myself laughing less, and less talkative. It took me some time to open up to my friends here, and now I find myself slinking back into that little corner that I was in when I first moved. Sure, I'm still comfortable with them and all, and I still see them as my friends, but I'm too busy thinking about everything else going on, all the little worries, and what-not, to even think about anything else half the time. My random comments here and there are usually only sparked by conversations I've been side-lining for at least ten to fifteen minutes, and just finally worked up the nerve to interject on. This is coming from a usually very talkative (once open) person.
I dunno. Maybe these things are normal, and I'm simply overreacting.
Are you a high-stress person? Do the little things get to you, or is it just the big ones you actually stress over? Have you ever found yourself unintentially withdrawing yourself from your friends and family? And the big one, how do you cope with stress?
Comments (2)
Honestly, you sound depressed. Mildly anyway. Stress can also effect your period.
I read this today. You may want to take a peek.
Thanks so much for this link. I think I'm going to try to pull some of the things from there into how we do things around here, and, if all goes well, it will help to take the stress out of some things. Just got off the phone with my mother as well and, as long as ticket prices don't go any higher, it sounds like we'll be getting a short vacation here soon. Last time we had a vacation, it really helped us relax and be able to get back into the swing of things for a while, so I'm hoping the same will happen this time.